Perspective....

For the last week, I've wanted to write. To try and make sense of the sadness I'm feeling.  The sadness and struggle and pain that so many around me are feeling.  But I didn't know what to write.  I still don't....  

Last Monday, my Uncle went to the doctor, and then went to the hospital, and then received very bad news.  We still don't know what is next, but thankfully he is home now, surrounded by family and lots of love.

Later in the week, one of my dearest friends shared her husband's health crisis.  Her family has a long and difficult road ahead of them.

This Monday, while I was grocery shopping, I returned a call to my mom.  She told me that earlier in the day, one of their oldest and dearest friends had died suddenly.

All in a week.

Knowing the pain that my family and friends are going through makes me so very sad.  My heart breaks for them.  I'm so powerless.  Not a darn thing I can do.  Other than offer love and support.  An ear to listen.  A meal to share.  A shoulder.  A laugh.  

Grief is grief.  It is pretty much the same for everyone.  And plain and simple, it just sucks.  

These past days, I've looked at my kids and tears well up in my eyes.  Tears of joy and sadness and overwhelming love.  These past days made me feel so vulnerable.  Of course, we are all vulnerable.  We only have this moment.  Nothing new.  But sometimes it's easy to get caught up in all the daily to-do's and forget what is really in front of us.  

A week like this made all those "other things" seem so insignificant.  

I just want to hold my kids.  Play games.  Watch them sleep.  Make sure they know - - really know how much I love them exactly as they are.  Perfect.  Make sure they know that I am always with them.  That I always love them.  

I just want to be with my husband.  Sit next to him at dinner and hold his hand. Tell him how much joy and love he gives me. How grateful I am to have him in my life, even on the hard days. How much I owe him. 

I just want to enjoy and celebrate my family. My friends.  Make sure they know how much they have taught me.  How I value everything they bring to my life.  

This sort of sadness is a re-ordering.  A wake-up call.  Another reminder to be alive. 

Tonight before bed, Henry asked if instead of reading books like usual, we could have a tickle fight (as he calls it).  Of course, I knew this was probably not the best choice at bedtime, but I said yes.  Yes because it is what he wanted (and sometimes Henry gets to choose, simple as that). And yes because I wanted to hear everyone laugh....  

So the four of us tickled and giggled and rolled around for 15 minutes.   And when we finally caught our breath and it was time to fall asleep, Henry asked if I could sing them the lullaby that I used to sing when they were younger.  I  bet I haven't sang it for a year, but tonight I sang my dear ones to sleep.  

Tonight. All of it.  It's just what I needed.

I wish everyone's sadness could be fixed with a good belly laugh and a lullaby.  But, I know its not that easy.  And I know what I'm feeling doesn't come close to the pain and sorrow that so many others around me are feeling right now. But I will send them all of my love.  And I will honor them by being present for all those who are closest to me. 

Booked....

I'm thrilled, ecstatic, nervous and amazed to report that all my open photo session dates are filled between now and the end of June, 2011.  23 sessions scheduled over the next 5 months!!  Some are friends, some are friends of friends, and some are people I'll get to meet for the first time very soon!! 

I am overwhelmed.  And I can hardly wait to start.

Of course, the hardest part of all of this is that I couldn't say yes to everyone who inquired about a shoot.  I really, really, really want to say yes. But if I also want to see my own precious family this spring and summer, I have to limit how many sessions I book.  (And since I'm lousy at saying "no" to anyone or anything, this is a real test for me!!)

However...

(I always have a silver lining!)

If you are interested in a session, but haven't contacted me yet, please still let me know.  I have a waiting list going and I will be contacting people if a session date opens up or if I am able to offer this again later in spring or summer.  So who knows.  We might be able to make it work after all!! (pexacox@bevcomm.net).

I also want to send my thanks out to Pacifier, the fabulous children's clothing boutique (in Northeast and downtown Minneapolis).  They heard about my session offer and posted it on their Facebook page.  (!!)  As you can imagine, things really took off at that point!  Wildfire!!  So, thank you, thank you, thank you to Pacifier.  Check them out HERE!!  (Trust me, this is a great place to pick up cool & comfy clothes for an upcoming photo session. No scratchy or stuffy clothes here!!)


Again, many many thanks to everyone for the support and encouragement.  I can't WAIT to get started!!  And, I also can't wait to share some of the pictures I'm taking here on the blog!  More to come....

And speaking of pictures....



Here are a few from Anna's very first self-administered manicure this weekend.

All in all, I'd say it went quite well!  She had a steady hand.  I found myself some patience.  And no furniture or clothing were harmed in the process.














It's when Anna moved on to her toes that things got a little interesting...



Somehow I didn't explain well enough that Anna was to paint her toe-NAIL...not her entire toe. 

Oh well.  Thank goodness for nail polish remover.  Otherwise Anna would most likely still have bright green, orange and purple toes on the 4th of July!

 

Stay warm!!

Tea party gig....

Today Anna threw herself a little tea party and I was invited to attend.  Not as a guest mind you, but as the event photographer.

Really.  

"Mama, will you take the pictures at my party?"

This was quite an exclusive event.  Guest list: Anna and her favorite bear "Ada Pockets."  

Anna brought out her finest china and her guest enjoyed the best pretend tea available.  Imported, I believe.

Of course, Anna was a fine hostess.  Telling the best stories.  Asking the most intriguing questions.  Making her guest feel right at home.

As for Mama?  Well,  Anna did offer me a cup of tea.  I guess she thought she had to offer me something....I was working pretty hard!

As with all of the best parties, time went much too quickly.  But a fine time was had by all.

Until next time.....