Holding on to Gratitude

I am so happy to be participating in Picture the Holidays again this year. Each morning in December, I'll receive an email prompt as inspiration for a daily photo. I plan to post as many of those here as I can find the time for. Yesterday's prompt, as you may have guessed, was "Holding on to Gratitude." Turns out, I had more to write for the prompt, than pictures to post. But, I promise that won't always be the case!! I look forward to sharing more photos throughout the holiday season!!

Henry (my seven-year-old) and I have been battling more than usual lately. I think it's just second-grader angst. Or maybe it is mama-of-a second-grader angst. Regardless of who gets to own the anguish, it seems that Henry is often less than satisfied these days. He wants more..... More stuff. More control. More "right now." More everything. And it just drives me crazy. The big C.R.A.Z.Y.... 

We really work on the gratitude thing at our house. It is a major part of our every day. It's the foundation of our family. And sometimes - actually most times - Henry really gets it. Like - he takes my breath away - get's it. But every once in a while, it's pretty much the complete polar opposite. And because this is such a big deal for me, it's all I can do to keep from screaming:

"Just be grateful, dammit! And if for no other reason, do it because I said so!"

(Wouldn't it be great if that "because I said so" thing actually worked?!)

So here is a case in point. A re-enactment of this past Saturday, time-lapsed into a single paragraph:

Mom: "Henry, guess what? Today we're going to see a movie with your sister. You are in charge of choosing the movie. Wait, you get to bring your cousin along too. And we'll stop and get treats on the way. Whoa - now your cousin can stay for a sleepover after the movie. Oh, and your friend Josh can come with us too and he can stay for a sleepover. We'll get a big bucket of popcorn at the movie. And on the way home, we'll stop and pick-up a take-and-bake pizza for dinner. Pepperoni is still your favorite, right??? Oh. Um. No honey, I'm sorry, we aren't going to get pizza delivery this time."

Henry: "No fair. You always say no. I never get anything that I want. Bleeehhhhhh!"

Oh lord, please help!! (Breathe, breathe.....insert "mama-centering-moment-on-the-go" here).

Of course, it seems the harder I try to "force" the gratitude, the more we get entangled in this struggle. I know Henry feels like I am in control of so much in his life. Which is true. I am. I'm the mama. And I know his pushing back - well, it's only natural. I'm sure some child development expert would tell me it is completely age-appropriate. But in the heat of the moment, that is no consolation.

I want a grateful kid all the time and I want him now!

So we struggle on. But, as I've been pondering this the last few weeks, I've realized that because this "gratitude thing" is so important to me, it's been our focus. And almost without thinking about it. I find myself just randomly telling the kids how much I appreciate someone. Or what I loved about my day. And I hear them say it back to me too. All the time.

You know, maybe this is exactly how this whole mama thing works. The things that are most important to us in life get the most light and attention, just when they need it most. For us, the lesson of gratitude is stronger than ever exactly because Henry is pushing back. It's the "squeaky-wheel" parenting effect. And right now, my dear seven-year-old is covered in grease!

In the long run, all I can do is hope that at the end of the mama-marathon, my kids will get it, more often than not. And considering we're all in it for the distance, I just have to trust we'll be fine....

We'll be just fine.

We'll just keep holding on to the gratitude every step of the way.

Ordinary....

Today, I was reminded of this video. I posted it last year too, but it is SO worthy of re-posting this holiday (and every holiday).



Goosebumps every time I watch it.

Ordinary people sitting in an ordinary food court on an ordinary day. They had no idea they were about to be part of something extraordinary. But yet, they were.

This is exactly what I want to do this holiday season. Find the magic in the ordinary.

Who knows when something extraordinary is lurking around the corner.

More than enough....

I wasn't planning on writing a post for Thanksgiving. Of course, not because I don't relish the holiday and its meaning. But simply because the whole "thankful" theme seems to appear in nearly half my posts, regardless of whether it is April or July or November. I imagine the three people who actually read this blog, collectively rolling their eyes and thinking "Here she goes again. Being all grateful and s*%#."

So, I intended to resist the urge. But, this morning I woke up with all of these things bouncing around in my head. I think it must be all the cosmic thankful energy in the air today.....

In no particular order - -

I am grateful that I finally understand my kids are doing me a favor when they insist on pointing out every one of my parental inconsistencies and fallibilities and flaws. If I'm honest, I know that they're actually teaching me to be a better parent (regardless of how much it might drive me crazy).

I am grateful for hope and opportunity and being able to take chances and try things that only a year ago seemed completely out of the realm of possibility.

In a year of great loss for our family, I am grateful for the sweetest memories. And for the love that miraculously continues, even when someone as left us.

I am grateful for all the little teeny-tiny Lego's that come in every box these days. When they don't get vacuumed up or lost, they really are the pieces that are key to Lego coolness.

I am grateful that even though some of our dear ones will be missing from our Thanksgiving table this year, they are still with us. Really. That never changes, despite the distance.

I am grateful that (I think) we'll manage to make this year another Barbie-free Christmas. And yes, I am so glad that American Girl has not yet entered our universe. (but I'm not holding my breath....)

I am grateful for all of the wonderful people who are a part of our lives everyday. All the teachers and daycare providers and dear friends. They really are family too, helping to shape and guide my little ones with such care and love.

I am grateful for second chances. The really big kind. The kind that end up being life-changing.

I am grateful that we don't "have" everything, but that we have more than enough. And that "enough" is actually perfect. It gives us comfort and deep appreciation and hope.

I am grateful that showing up to life and being a part of whatever makes our heart sing - - well, that is where the real joy is.

I am grateful that my kids will wake up this morning to the smell of pumpkin pie, and they'll hear the comforting sounds of me puttering around in the kitchen. And when they crawl out of their warm beds and make their way down the stairs, they will see someone who loves them to the ends of the earth. Someone who will pull them in and explain to them that they are on the tippy-top of mom's thankful list. I never never take that amazing privilege for granted.

I am grateful for morning sunshine and orange juice and the promise of a lovely day, starting with a family breakfast....



Here's to another year of walking with gratitude. Every step of the way.