“A dream is your creative vision for your life in the future. You must break out of your current comfort zone and become comfortable with the unfamiliar and the unknown." - Denis WaitleyWOW! Could this quote be any more perfect for me right now? I am way out of my comfort zone. WAAAYYYY out!! Everything feels unfamiliar, as I consider possibilities! I feel way over my head . . .
But I'm forging ahead, dammit! (screw those inner voices of doubt, with all their negative crazy-talk!)
This weekend, before I took pictures for Justin and Criss (see post: At the center...), I scribbled a few words on my hand, reminding me of what I needed to remember most...
During my few "non-family sessions" to date, I've had a barrage of questions colliding in my head as I try to take pictures:
What is my aperture, my shutter speed??
Where is the light?
Is this the right ISO?
Hey, where did that kid go??
Is my camera metering off of the person or the background?
Am I cropping this shot correctly?
Is this really the right lens? Maybe I should go switch it quick...
What is my white balance set to?
Is everyone looking this way?
Should I tell them to smile? Or look at each other? Or give no direction?
Hey, now where did that other kid go?
Will this shot further define my personal "photographic style?"
NO WAY!! Did that cloud just completely change my light??
Complete mind chaos!! And, as I'm running through these questions (over and over), I start taking pictures faster and faster and faster. And I STOP thinking about what I'm really doing.
breathe, breathe, breathe...
Note to self: just think, take the picture at hand, and move on to the next. One by one by one!!
Desperate, I resorted to my non-permanent hand art...
I think the tendency to go faster and faster is part of my genetic make-up. " I need to get this photo shoot thing done quick because I don't want to bother these kind people who agreed to let me take their picture."
I come from a long line of good women who don't want to be a bother.
But of course, this totally works against me: if I don't take decent pictures because I've rushed, then I've completely wasted their time, and I learn nothing.
And "focus!!" ... I need to remember HOW to focus the camera well to get a crisp, clean image.
I think focus is really my biggest challenge at the moment. Exposure is starting to come a little easier lately (emphasis on little). But, I really need to work on getting those crisp shots right on the eyes! I toggle my focal points, and steady myself and try to get the aperture right for the shot. But I know there are a dozen other things that I'm doing wrong. (and of course that "faster" thing above doesn't help either).
I'm not sure my inked reminders helped me much on Saturday. Mind you, I didn't look at my hand once. But maybe the ink soaked into my skin and the impression helped on some unconscious level. Or maybe it gave me ink poisoning.
Of course, I do know the real trick: practice, practice, practice, until I can do this all in my sleep. This may all be uncomfortable and unknown right now, but I know if I see this through, good things are possible.
So for now, ink-written reminders.... Soon, second nature!