Milestone...

Okay, here's the deal...I am about to reveal my darkest "mama-was-sleeping-on-the-job" secret. Well, at least the darkest secret of the moment. (I'm sure there will be others soon enough...) All I ask is that you are kind. Please hold your judgment. We can't be perfect parents ALL the time....

So here goes: Anna (who will be 4 in March) still sleeps with a nuk at night. Well, she did before yesterday. But, that's getting ahead of my story...

Anna has loved her nuk since she was born. Of course, that was fine when she was a baby, or even a toddler. But, later it was getting out of hand. We couldn't go anywhere without her nuks. So, we were absolutely positively going to draw the line when Anna turned three. But her third birthday came and went and Anna was still a nukie girl. We did pare down to just bedtime. The rule was that the nuks did not leave her bed (and we held to that - well, mostly).

Now, Anna is almost 4. Clearly it was time to get rid of them altogether. Once and for all. And Christmas break would be perfect, just in case prolonged bouts of crying kept the entire household up at night....

Somehow Santa even got roped into helping. He brought Anna a pillow pet and left her a note, telling her it was time to give up the nuks in exchange for the pet. (Obviously I'm not above using the big guy to my advantage.)

So it was decided. Christmas night would be her last with the nuks.

The day after Christmas arrived and I think Anna knew the jig was up. And clearly she needed one last fix. About 11:30 a.m., Anna went upstairs and 10 minutes later, this is how I found her - -





Now, I must admit this whole thing was almost as hard for me, as it was for Anna. It was tough to take away something that she so dearly loved. Even if it was just a bad habit. I felt like I was knocking the ice cream off of her sugar cone. Plus, I was forced to admit my baby had grown into a preschooler. (Of course that fact is obvious, but mama denial can be a pretty powerful force).

I begged Ray to be the heavy. He usually is around here. (mama = good cop; papa=bad cop). And I like it that way! But he passed the ball to me on this one. I was on my own.

Okay, okay. I'll do it....

As you probably expected, I did have a plan. It's been in the works for months. We were "sending" the nuks to Mrs. Gregory, Henry's kindergarten teacher who had a baby last spring. Anna was a big kid now, but certainly Mrs. Gregory's baby could use some extra nuks. This plan had it all . . . growing-up, sharing, Santa, recycling. Geez, we were even being green!!

So, back to the day of reckoning - -

When Anna woke up from her little nap, I gave her a few minutes to clear her head (but not too much time. I figured a few cobwebs may actually help the situation!)

I took a deep breath, and well, I guess the pictures tell the story....





Reality started sinking in for Anna right about here.



One more peek. Then....



BAM! Reality....





Anna and I made the trip to the mailbox together. And there was more sadness.

I carried the box. Anna held my hand. More tears, for both of us. But we persevered.

Back in the house, a little art therapy helped soothe the hurt.



A few times during the rest of the day, Anna simply said "mama, I miss my nukies." But that was it. At bedtime, (which I feared the most) she rolled around a little more than usual. I don't think she quite knew how to lull herself to sleep without her nuk. But soon enough, she fell asleep. Nuks gone. Over. Done.

I have to admit it was a little anti-climatic. I was ready with the plan and the pillow pet. But, I guess Anna was ready too. Ready to grow up and move on. Ready to be brave and strong.

And I guess if Anna can be brave, I will be too!